29
Oct
08

The rollercoaster ride that is life

I feel like my life parallels the stock market these days: up & down.  This mostly pertains to my work situation: one day I’m busier than heck, running around like a chicken with its head chopped off… the next day, I’m twiddling my thumbs, bored to tears.  My emotional state seems to follow suit as if I’m on a rollercoaster, simply hanging on and hoping for the best. 

I can’t help but feel the stress related to the current state of our poor economy.  I do rely on commissions to maintain my quality of life, and I’m seeing those commissions dwindle.  Let’s face it, if I am not bringing in the sales, at some point my employer is going to stop paying my salary too.  Then what?  I get the sense that companies aren’t hiring freely at the moment.

On another note, I’m sensing some changes in myself, especially in regards to where my priorities lie.  In light of the current state of the world and my own job insecurity, I have become less focused on getting pregnant.  As most of you know, I have been pretty preoccupied (verging on obsession!) with project infertility.  But, is this the time to bring a child into the world? 

It’s a nice change of pace.  I feel like a load has been lifted off my shoulders, and I am enjoying a tremendous sense of freedom.  Let’s face it, I’m almost 38, this topic is going to rear its ugly head again soon, but for now, I’m going to take things one day at a time.

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