Panic Attack

I have not heard from my Rhode Island pal, Melanie, yet today.  She was due for her 8 week ultrasound this morning (EST).  It is now 4pm EST and I haven’t heard a peep.

She’s a schoolteacher, so I truly hope that she’s busy at school and hasn’t had time to update all of us on the infertility forum and ME, her west coast pregnant pal.

But I can’t help but feel that something is wrong.  She usually sends a note out right away with the “good news”.

Of course being that I have felt like Melanie is my pregnancy sister, I can’t help but let my mind wander and imagine all of the dreadful possibilities: no heartbeat, baby has stopped growing, etc, etc.  AND since she’s my pregnancy sister and I have felt like our experience has been pretty similar thus far, my crazy mind starts to wonder if Melanie’s awful imagined fate  is also happening to me?!?!?

Insane, I know.  But I am not feeling nauseous today.  I have not felt the exhaustion I felt previously in the last couple of days.  I just wish I could look inside and know that all is ok.  My next ultrasound is not scheduled until next Thursday (yes 7 days away).  I could call my doctor and ask for another ultrasound, but I haven’t reached that level of panic…. yet.

I will feel so much better once I hear from Melanie.  Do I really have 7+ more months of this?!?!


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