Author Archive for Sheila DeStefano


An end in sight!

I am scheduled for a c-section on September 16 — yep, 5 short days from today.  Wow!  I can’t believe this pregnancy is finally coming to an end.  I was speaking with a friend of mine today and she reminded me how long I have been waiting for this upcoming moment… the moment I finally meet my baby.  Although patience is definitely not my virtue, I have had to endure some serious tests in patience – from the years of having no luck conceiving, enduring months of acupuncture treatment, infertility drugs & IUI cycles, to an 8.8 month pregnancy and at long last, there is an end to the tunnel.

It is still surreal to me that on Thursday at around 2pm I will get to hold a human creation of my husband and myself.  What will she look like?  Who will she act like?  So many unanswered questions will soon be answered.

I’m so excited to get back to a routine that includes this little one.  I know, I know… that won’t happen for many weeks or months as my mommy friends keep reminding me, but sooner or later, our little family will become a working unit that affords us the ability to maintain our social lives, work hard and play hard, as we like to do.

I also hope to maintain this blog and as we evolve and life moves forward, I’m sure this blog will morph into more of a “mommy blog” than the randomness it has been in the past.

So watch this space for lots of pictures, stories, laughs and tales of misery as we move into the next phase of our lives: parenthood.

ps. Don’t worry…  Lucy is still daughter # 1 in our minds…


End in sight.

Today I scheduled my c-section to deliver our baby girl.  OMG!  In just over 2 weeks, we meet the newest member of our little family.

My feelings are mixed.  As crazy as this may sound, there is a part of me that wants to stay pregnant forever.  Okay, maybe if I could go back to week 28 and stay there, that would be perfect!  I have grown to love my big buddha belly and there is just no way to describe the sense of comfort and joy when I feel her moving around inside of me.

It’s hard to comprehend that it’s a human being inside of me.  I know it’s irrational, but I almost feel like there is a puppy inside of me, and we’ll have another Lucy in a couple of weeks!  Crazy, I know.  Just shows you my frame of reference… but also how I feel about my Lucy… she’s like a child to me.

September 16 at 12:30pm is go time.  I am a bit disappointed as I really wanted to experience childbirth naturally – with drugs OF COURSE, but natural still.  I dedicated myself to building up my core (Dailey Method class 4 – 5 times a week throughout my pregnancy) in hopes that labor would be easier & faster.  Oh well.

Little Miss Stubborn has plans of her own….  There is still a chance she’ll flip around and get into the right position, but for now, she’s breech and the chances are pretty slim, especially as she gets bigger and bigger.  I gotta look on the bright side:  no tearing, my private parts will remain intact, etc, etc.  The thought of tearing kinda freaks me out.  Also, I won’t have to play the “waiting game”.  I have heard of so many first time moms who have delivered late.  I can’t imagine hanging around on September 21, wondering “when?!?!?”  No having to count contractions, DEAL with contractions, breathing exercises, pushing, etc.

Instead, I show up, get a spinal so I can’t feel anything below my chest.  A couple of cuts and they pull her out… voila!  Also, I’ll get to stay in the hospital longer.  No doubt we will need all the help we can get from the nurses, lactation consultants, etc, so this is good.  I do fear the recovery with a c-section.  But in the grand scheme of life, what’s two weeks of non-movement?!?  I’m sure we’ll be so enamored with this little one, that the time will fly by.

Let the countdown begin!


The bottomless pit

Wow!  For some reason I am hungry all day today.  I eat a meal but 10 minutes later, hungry again.

I knew that at 31 weeks, the little girl is heading into a growth spurt, but Wow!  The last time I felt like this was when I was training for IronMan and burning thousands of calories in my sleep.


names names names

Okay, so we have poured through umpteen Baby Name Books, stared at page after page after page of names on,, etc, etc.

Still no decision.

Why is this so hard?

It really is a big decision. This is our baby and we really want to choose the perfect name that will take her from infant to baby girl to school-age girl, to teenager, etc, etc.  Mitzy,  Bebe or Kiki just isn’t going to cut it.

Furthermore, we have no idea what kind of personality she will have.  Will she be a Mavis, a Jennifer, a Jane or a Nicola?  Each of those names conjures up a different image with a different personality.

I’m definitely of the frame of mind that we should have a set of names going into the hospital and let ourselves be inspired once we meet the little one.  But even that has been challenging!

Here are our (current) contenders:

Sophia DeStefano

Amelia DeStefano

Andie DeStefano

Matilda DeStefano

Mariela DeStefano

Daniela DeStefano

I really like all of these names, but they also seem very similar as far as personality and look goes….  but this is what the two of us could agree on so this is it!

Any suggestions?  Which of these names do you like?

Obviously, we need all the help we can get!!


Ponder your legacy

Yesterday I attended a beautiful eulogy for a beautiful, well-loved man.  My great friend, Carolyn’s dad, Joseph Robert Kelly, passed away on Friday.  He had been suffering from Altzheimers for many years and apparently the last few weeks had been particularly difficult for Joe and his family.  Carolyn told me that two weeks ago, her dad told her, “you don’t have to worry about me anymore.”  Obviously, very sad, but the reality is, he lived a long, happy, fulfilling life and it was time.

The service was simply beautiful.  What made the ceremony all the more beautiful is that Joe’s son (Carolyn’s brother), Kevin, officiated the sermon, as he is a priest.  I cannot imagine having to officiate my own father’s funeral service, however Kevin performed the service with grace, dignity and strength.  I could not help but be in awe of his unique ability to speak to the audience as if we were all gathered around his living room vs. sitting in pews at the magnificent St. Agnes Church in San Francisco.  He had a very special way of talking to us like we are equals, as if we’d all been friends for years.  Many priests, I feel, tend to “talk down” to the people… which in some ways they should feel entitled to.

I learned more about Carolyn’s father than I’d ever known before and I’m so happy I had a chance to get to know my friend’s father post-mortem.  Throughout the ceremony, as Kevin reflected on Joe’s inherent goodness, kindness towards others, and other amazing qualities, I was forced to think about myself.

What is my legacy?  What will they say during MY service?  These are important questions.  I want to do everything possible to ensure those who survive me retain great memories.  But, guess what?  That does not happen automatically.  We must work to achieve this and it is not something that is based on a few select events in time.  It is based on consistent behavior.  I guess it’s something to think about from time to time… are we living our lives in a way that promotes goodness and positivity?  If so, I believe our legacy will be fulfilled.  It should not be difficult.

Oh and by the way, my wish is for my service to be a “Celebration of my Life”, rather than a sad day.  I want guests to wear bright colors, drink lots of wine, dance, sing, laugh and remember that I would have loved to party with everyone too!


That Crazy Pup!

Our little 5 year old Boston Terrier (Lucy) sure knows how to get herself into trouble.  Sometimes I think that it is amazing she is still alive.

We are on a first name basis at the Emergency 24 Hour Vet Hospital.  Recently, we came up with a list of “Lucy’s Lives”.  Here they are, not in chronological order:

1.  Bitten in the cheek by a dog who she was tormenting from behind a wire fence… she got lucky with just a few stitches

2.  Foxtail up the nose… $500 (poof!) to the vet to extract the foxtail

3.  Swallowed chicken bones she found on the trail and started foaming at the mouth… trip to the Emergency room for x-rays

4.  Ate a box of chocolate cookies.  We tried to induce vomiting, no luck and she seemed a-0kay.  Guess she’s got a stomach of steel as well!

5.  Ran away from home and was found 1/2 mile away on the Iron Horse Trail by a kind hearted neighbor, who returned her to us

6.  Got pinned to the ground by a 200 lb buck in the backyard.  We thought that was the end, but miraculously the buck let her go

7.  She got caught underneath a group of large dogs at the dog park… ever since, she has been very fearful of dog parks and big dogs in general

8.  Climbed atop a 9 foot fence to try to escape from the backyard, then realized she could not jump down… good thing she didn’t jump because that would have been another “life”

9.  She wandered away and decided to search for me at the Ballpark after I had left to get food.  We were there for “Dog Days of Summer” — 40k+ people, hundreds of dogs… she got lost and we got EXTREMELY lucky our friend Barbara found her.

10.  Cornered the neighbor’s cat and got herself scratched in the eye.  Tear in her cornea, and NARROWLY missed having to get surgery and/or losing her eyesight.

Oh and she’s only 5 years old…  let’s hope she learns some lessons and we don’t have any more scares.   Although, I think I know better!


Mean Girls

Too often than is acceptable, there are times when I feel like I’ve “Hot Tub Time Machine”d back to High School.  I am almost 40 years old and from time to time I experience feelings that makes me cringe with reminders of being snubbed, ignored, made to feel insignificant, as I felt often back in High School.  The girls (women) who bring on these awful feelings in me as a grown adult really should know better.  But life is short and I know better than to let this type of behavior from others get to me.

I am no longer that awkward, chubby, insecure teenager.  I am now a confident, happy, beautiful-in-my-own-way grown woman.  I am about to bring a little girl into this world.  I intend to raise my little girl to be confident, assured, kind and smart, not just with matters that affect her personally, but to be considerate of others’ feelings always.  My mom taught me to treat others the way I want to be treated myself.  Believe me, this is the best advice I ever received from her.  I will never have to feel guilty for my own actions.  I only wish that others lived their lives this way.

Get in touch with me

Twitter: sheilamia Email: sheila at
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